Updated: Aug 23, 2021
The year 2020 is now over, and to never return. Everyone has their own interpretation of what kind of year it was, but for me, it was a year of restoration and healing. It was a year of getting real and letting go of the lies, hurts, betrayals, condemnation, guilt, and shame that had engulfed my life. It will be now and forever one of my favorite years.
Today is day one in the year 2021, how did we get here so fast? I have made the decision that this year will be the beginning of my journey into letting my mess become my message. There is nothing more inspiring to me than watching others who have stumbled and failed to get back up and continue on. It takes determination, strength, and desire; all things that I find to be wonderful characteristics in people. They have experience with failure and they just refused to give up.
There were many times when I thought I have had enough and I just wanted the world to stop and let me off. I was tired and I was just about completely done but there was always this little voice inside me that would say "you got this, do not stop now" and I would get up once more and put one foot in front of the other.
As I look back over my past I realize that God had placed people in my path to help me to keep going even when I didn't want to continue. Some were only placed for a season, some have been with me since childhood, some are brand new but all have played such an important role that I could never thank them enough. Some of them may not even be aware of the importance of the role they played but I know and I am ever so thankful for them all.
My mess, as I know refer to as my experience, provides me with a tool set that many do not have. I am thankful for the tools I now have but it is my sincerest hope that I can assist others and enable them to get to where they are going, in Christ, without having to endure the anguish that comes with obtaining such "experience".
Being able to share and confide in someone who has actually been where you are is so uplifting and gives hope where you sometimes truly feel there is none is a marvelous thing. Chatting to your friends is great but sharing your hardships with someone who has overomce, worked through, and come out the other side is so much more. A guiding light to let you know that it truly can be overcomee.
During my journey I did have amazing friends who listened and supported me and I am certainly not down playing their roles. However, speaking or talking to someone about divorce and broken marriages who is happily married and truly unaware of the hardships is not the same as sitting with someone who fought the fight and endured. Kind of like when people who have never had children tell you what they would do. The fact of the matter is that no one truly knows what you would do until you are in it. We all think we know but believe me there are so many moving parts that sometimes what you thought you would do is the furthest thing from what you actually did.
Having a newly restored faith and trust in God and hisplan for my life allows me to not even think or lament about the what if's of life. GOd and I will deal with it when and if it ever arrives. Matthew 6:34 says, "So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it own". If that isn't the truth I don't know what is.
It is a good thing that it is the Grace of God that we are saved and that it is freely given, otherwise I would never be where I am today. Ephesians 2 - 8 &9 says, "For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith. And this is not of yourselves but it is the gift of God; not as a result of works so that no one will ever boast or take credit in anyway." Salvation is free as Jesus paid the price.
I am powerless without God and I am well aware of it. My message to the world is very clear and simple God uses broken and flawed people to spread his message. Share the love he has given to you even if it isn't given back. Shine your light and honor God. It won't be easy but it will be so worth it.