If we quit during the hard times we will never get our rewards.
When God asks us to start something he expects us to finish it and to have faith in him during the hard times. There have been many times when I have had a gut feeling that what I was about to do was not of God but I rationalized it in my head and went on to do it. Then there were times that I know the task at hand was something that God truly wanted me to do and I rationalized my way of it because I didn't want to do it because it would be just too hard.
That old saying of growing old and regretting the things you didn't do about sums up how I feel about the things God laid on my heart to do and I ignored. My realization is crystal clear that if I want God to use me I have to be more obedient when he directs me to do something. Regardless if it is something trivial or something massive. To date, I am pretty secure that most of my jobs will be the small things and I say that with great joy as I finally am secure in the fact that in God's eyes there are no small things. Sometimes I feel that I get caught up in the logistics of it all but really it is a waste of my time. If I am truly called by God to do it, he has the logistics all figured out I just have to step out in faith and start.
Also, I have come to realize that God directs me to love. 1 Corinthians 12:31 is clear that love should be our first time on our spiritual list. As my journey of walking in God's love moves along it is so clear that I have to do "love" as 1 John 4:8 tells me. Pretty simple, if I am walking on God's love then I must love and extend the love of God that I have found during my pursuit of love so others who are also searching for love will see it in me and be drawn to God. This is what God expects of me and anyone else who claims to be his child. We don't have to love some of the actions of others but we must love them. Love the sinner and hate the sin as the saying goes, but not all those that we find hard to love are of the world. Some sit in the very sanctuary as you do every Sunday. I know that because I have and still do struggle with this. I wouldn't use the word hate but just not like someone due to past experiences and how these brothers and/or sisters in Christ left you feeling.
I am very aware that those feelings, some valid and some not, have to be laid to rest, let go, and continue to love them. This is no different than our earthly family, we don't always get along, hurts happen but we have to forgive and continue to love them.
How can we truly be a shining light in a dark and hurting world if we are full of resentment towards others; you just can't!
I fail miserably some days but I have days that I even amaze myself.
My goal is to go where God leas me and to finish everything I start in his name. To be aware and take stock in how my spirit reacts to situations and not to reason my way out of what I am called to do and to it with love in my heart.
I want to sow great sees and reap the great reward that bring God all the glory and I realized this is no small task. I am well aware of the work that harvesting the bad sees of my past has required but with God's help and my faith I truly feel that the next harvest will bring him Glory and for that I am truly excited.
Do not give up- it won't be easy but it will be oh so worth it.