A Beautiful Life!

Updated: Aug 23, 2021

When the same message reaches you through various avenues it is a sure sign that God is letting you know the message is truly from him!

I haven't put a pen to paper in over a week, I was under an attack of spiritual warfare and Satan truly had me by the throat. He was hammering on the trigger points that he knew used to bring me to my knees and he knows all too well that when he gets me there that I last out and go for the juggler of anyone or anything involved. Thankfully, with the help of an amazing counselor and the wisdom of amazing friends, I endured the attack and refrained from reverting to the way I use to be. The attack is not over but I have a much better handle on myself.

Before I left for our small group I received a phone call from a dear friend that I do not see very often but when we do connect it is always such an uplifting and laugh-filled time. As our conversation was coming to a close her daughter, who is about eight, asked her who was on the phone and the way she described me to her daughter left me amazed. The exact wording that she used told me that God wanted me to know that some of the things I have been dealing with were of the devil and God didn't see me in that negative light and neither did this friend. Then during small group, we discussed how we are all grieving and how we all do it differently. The term "buried alive" took on a whole new meaning and realizing that as a Christian we have no right to look at anyone or anything unless it is through the lens of faith. I was also reminded that all of heaven is behind me.

As I checked my phone, as I always do after I leave it home for a bit, there was a text from another sweet friend that I see occasionally but not consistently and it simply read "Hi, hugs hugs and more hugs." That was it, I had to go to bed because my emotions were in overdrive, my head was swirling in amazement of how God was sending me signs to let me know I was loved and not through the normal channels.

This morning my devotional video was about living a life that God thinks is beautiful. Not just pretty moments but beautiful. It spoke to giving and prayer and that if you do both Satan might as well just get out of the way. Then my devotional book spoke to the "want to" and "able to" hurdles that need to be overcome. In that section, it spoke to renewing your mind and that took me full circle back to the discussion in our small group last night.

God's patience, kindness, understanding, and compassion with such a flawed soul is just overwhelming and it is my plight in life to be all these things to others. There will be days that I will stumble and fall because there is much more work to be done in me but the revelations that have come to me in the past few hours have once again brought me peace.

Living in God's grace reminds me not to be offended because what I may see as "my" truth is not "His" truth. No longer do I feel the need to avenge me. Romans 12:19 says "Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." No longer do I dwell on the person that I use to be. Matthew 25:41 tells us that the next time Satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future. I no longer think of others as they were as God is moving in our souls, dealing with our hurts, renewing us and it is a painful and hard journey.

My sincerest hope is that anyone who reads this blog knows that they are loved even when we may not be feeling it. We have all fallen short, messed up, and have work to be done but if we, I, can learn to live in peace, realize that sometimes we need forgiveness and something we have to forgive. If God can forgive me then who am I not to forgive.

My life is becoming more beautiful in God's eyes and my goal truly is to hear him say well done my good and faithful servant. There is much work ahead of me but I have been reminded of those he has placed in my life and how they are there for many reasons. Some appear to build you up when you are low and some show up to hold you accountable. Acting in love towards each other regardless of whether it is in building up or accountability is an area of work for me. My intentions are being scrutinized in a way I never did before and guarding my words is a job in itself. But knowing God is able to use me if I am willing to allow him, provides me all the motivation I need to have a successful journey in this next leg of my journey.

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