Updated: Aug 23, 2021

The battle of lie sure can tire me out. The anxieties and worries that creep into my soul can consume me and steal my joy. For many years I attempted to be the glue that held every aspect of my life together. If I could just control the entirety of it all it would be ok. Oh, how wrong I was.

My so-called glue was more like silly putty. Sure, it would stick for a bit but then it would stretch, fall, pick up every piece of dirt it came in contact with, and eventually, it was so destroyed that it had no effect at all.

Learning that the only control I had was how "I" reacted to the circumstances around me was a humbling experience. Realizing that I was totally useless in holding everything together made me feel like I had failed everyone in my life. Then I realized that I had only failed myself because God was still on the Throne and still had complete control regardless of how many times I had tried to do his job. God doesn't want me or anyone else running around frazzled, tired, defeated, ashamed, or any of the ways I have felt for so long.

Psalm 46:10 tells us to stop striving and know that he is God. He will be exalted among the nations and in the earth.

God is very aware of what troubles me and where my anxieties lie and me spending time worrying about everything isn't' helping anyone.

In Matthew 6:27 it asks a very simple question. Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? The simple answer is no but it sure can steal the hours of your life that you spend on worry. As my Mothe always says, "if you pray why worry if you worry why pray".

Learning to rest in God is truly an act of faith. To just withdraw from the inner and sometimes the external battles of life, to let it all go, and just be quiet and sink into God's promises takes faith. My memory seems to be short when it comes to remembering what God has done for me but it isn't as short as it used to be. I am beginning to remember all his works in my life, how he has watched over my children, how he has provided for me financially, so why do I worry? He has proven over and over again that his word is true and that his promises are not just idle words.

John 14:27 tells us that he has left us with peace. He left us in his peace. He doesn't give as the world gives and he doesn't want our hearts to be troubled or fearful. Maintaining the peace that is left to us is a challenge but if you can control your actions and thoughts and remember that someone way more qualified than you and I is taking care of business. Resting in the peace he has given is here I want to be. I no longer have the energy or desire to put into trying to control everything nor do I want to feel defeated when I fail, yet again.

The world is going to do what the world is going todo. People are going to say and act the way they want but I don't and won't be spending much energy on time riding the crazy train. It is my hope that at some point in time I can say that I will never board the crazy train again but for now I take great pride in the fact that I don't board it as often and that I get off much quicker.

I am learning to rest in God and to remember that he does not give or act like the world and that I am truly safe with him. Nice change!

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